There are certain movies where it just feels like the filmmakers made every wrong choice imaginable when making their film. Certain ones you can understand why they did what they did. Even take a horrendous film like “Batman and Robin”. That movie makes every bad choice you can make but in some ways I can understand what they were going for. Why is the batmobile a bright neon car? Well it’ll be a cool toy. Why is there so many cheesy jokes and puns? The filmmakers were going for a more kid friendly and Adam West flavor of film. Why did the Bat suit have nipples? They were trying to make them look more like Greek Gods with anatomically correct suits. Why did they have a bat credit card? Well actually I have no answer for that one. The point being even in such a train wreck of a film there is some level of understanding for what they were trying to do (the execution however could not be more off).
That arrives us to “Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2”, a movie that makes every wrong decision you possibly make but I have no idea or understanding what the filmmakers were going for here. Every single scene you’ll be scratching your head wondering where are the jokes? The movie is on complete autopilot as the filmmakers and the studio make a bigger heist than the one featured in the movie, nabbing your own money with a complete lazy and steaming pile of shit.
We pick up where the first one left off. Paul Blart is to marry his love interest that he helped save in the first movie (extra points to you if you remember her name). Then to only get divorced six days later and his mother then passes away from complications of a truck running over her at 100 mph. Paul’s life is at a new level of low. He then gets invited to a security guard convention in Las Vegas where he and his daughter gets tangled in a heist of a hotel that only Paul can stop.
Look, I didn’t love the first movie “Paul Blart: Mall Cop”. It was cheap harmless fun though for families to go and enjoy so I didn’t mind it either. I assumed that this would be along the same lines. Some nice fun for families, not the next masterpiece of cinema. You have to understand where my expectations were already at. I really wasn’t expecting much and even this fell so far behind that .
The beginning of this movie is so bizarre. Is Paul losing his wife and his mother getting hit by a truck suppose to be funny? Character development….maybe? It’s not like Blart needs to go through a character evolution or major developments. This is just so puzzling because the movie is already working backwards. You don’t even have to develop a romance like the first movie did it can just be about him and his daughter and new wife/mother. Instead we have two traumatic events played for laughs so Blart can tell a hotel manage not to hit on him? (Which starts some weird and strange relationship).
The rest of the movie is virtually laugh free. I don’t think I smile or laughed once. Director Andy Fickman (of Parental Guidance and Race to Witch Mountain fame) can’t seem to find a way to create any atmosphere. Half the time you’ll be left wondering if what you saw was a joke or not. The rest of the time none of the elements will be fitting together. There was some operatic scene where Paul will be running through a Vegas show trying to evade the bad guys, but it’s suppose to be played for laughs. But, with three or four different elements all crammed together in one scene, none of it ever jells well together.
Along with all of that, this movie is so boring. For a movie that’s only 90 minutes it takes forever to actually get into the main storyline of these Ocean’s Eleven type, white collar criminals trying to knock over a hotel. It takes around half the movie’s runtime (not even kidding or exaggerating). It’s not like we need a big plot build up, just get to the point of all this madness.
I have no doubt been tough on this movie, and trust me I wanted to like it. I would love nothing more than to go see a movie, and come back with something positive to say; because that’s one more movie I can add to my Blu-Ray collection. If anyone else finds enjoyment in this I applaud them but from my perspective that amount of people will be far and few in between.